strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
