Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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