I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
My life is pants optional.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Randomize
