Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
