bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
