How'd it feel making her break her religion?
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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