dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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