white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
