My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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