Just mADE A PArabola og urine
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
