Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
