So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I don't think brook has ever known best
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Randomize
