I want to stick my p in your. b.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Randomize
