chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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