i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
We are two peas in an std pod
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
