we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Randomize
