Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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