just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
