Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
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