No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
how drunk are you?
Several
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
