i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
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