Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
