My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
