your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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