i permit you to call me
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
