You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
