ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
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