I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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