What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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