If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
