Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Randomize
