i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
