Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
