Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
We left an ass print on the piano.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
