i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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