found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
