I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
