so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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