someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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