Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
