are you so shy because you have an std?
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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