Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
He did a backflip because drugs
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
