It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
