you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
