all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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