i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Hello my rib-scented angel!
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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