We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I will pee on everything he values.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
