Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
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