Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
