Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
