Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
