I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
